As I sit happily in the misery I chose looking at the openly traumatised roam the city streets yelling for a freedom that they don’t understand, this piece begins to write itself. In my mind an idea reaches for letters which organise themselves into words that become sentences and so forth until eventually a stranger clicks a link on the internet, hoping to find a reflection of themselves on a webpage.
The passing glance that leads to intimacy is often coloured by a tinge of recognition. I see something in you that I know, or that I would like to know. This is how we go around the world gathering pieces of ourselves in a bid to make what is already whole even fuller still. In a bid to find something to add to ourselves that will not fully consume us we search the eyes of strangers in buses, ubers, on the streets and avert our eyes from beggars and street preachers. We hope our gaze is caught by those we deem worthy, or more worthy than we are.
Silences are punctuated by the prevailing politic of the day. Mumbles of must go whispered in corridors for the silent approval of others – I, too, am a revolutionary. I, too, spent some time wandering the streets in June 2024. I, too, believe that the corrupt regime is the only thing holding me back. We trade nods of approval for our self esteem, consistently regulating ourselves to the public. Somewhere, not so far away that tiktok doesn’t hear of it, a shoe is thrown at a president. He does not duck.
And, when the piece of art fails to show us something that we have always known we blame ourselves for misperceiving; the artist for being out of touch; the state for suppressing expression; history for failing to amend its injustices fast enough; and the education system for not teaching us how to be human in a time when humanity comes last.
This is easy because all of these things hold their fair share of the blame. Because tilling infertile land is an exercise in insanity. And because art itself is blameless, incapable of perceiving and without will against which to exist. Its only value is in its ability to see us, to bring us closer to our selves. The only thing we are ever truly looking for.