“I just came to beat a bully’s ass and get my lunch back…
…And I’m just in the studio, hoping that it sounds right,
here’s a brighter bulb for your limelight.”
– Chance the Rapper, Prom Night
What will you do when you realise that it was never theirs to take away? When, after years of languishing in the dark, flagellating your self for no reason other than the satisfaction of your (self) perceived virtuosity you find that even this was a shadow grasping at a shadow in a dark room? And if the dark can do nothing but envelope itself in confusion then how, pray tell, will you react when you realise that the darkness you cursed was nothing but a child’s trick? That they asked you to close your eyes for a moment without knowing that a moment is all we have. That the eternal disguises itself as a never ending now.
So when you closed your eyes for a moment you found yourself forever lost in darkness, grappling for something to hold on to, hungry for a glimmer or a glow. Cursing those who you blamed for plunging you into the dark, as if it wasn’t by your own will that you closed your eyes.
“I’ve been on the grind,
so much to do so little time.
I’m only trying to get what’s mine,
Before nifike finish line”
– Sauti Sol, Rewind
So again I ask, what will you do when, after years of learning to calm the echoes created by the waves you first created when you plunged into darkness, you realise that all you had to do was open your eyes? That the streets were watching you flabbergasted at this fool who walked around in the daylight crashing into people and cursing the dark. That they had gone from surprise, to trying to help, to frustration to acceptance? Had learned to move the seats before you crashed into them? To forgive you when your wildly flailing arms grazed their faces?
Will you begin anew, moving forward with a deliberate purpose? Will you act with a gratitude for the light? With a silent knowledge from the madness of moving around for years with your eyes wide shut? Will you swear never to close your eyes again? Will you hide in shame, afraid that the world has seen you and what has been seen cannot be unseen? Will you swear to cast a light so bright that warms those who cannot even see it? Will you try and make up for lost time, gathering everything that you’d have had you not stopped for a moment to blink?