Increasingly, I understand the risks you took, what it meant and how there was no more that you could do. How as I grew into a shape and form you knew it was harder to believe that the risk was worth the wait.

Increasingly I understand how to assume that risk can be taken without considerable pains to the heart is to dehumanize. How the brain is easily deceived but the heart needs a reason. How, the heart, limited to 3 billion beats in a lifetime, needs a reason “why?” it asks. “why should I dedicate another of bit of my finite energy to this worthless cause?”

Increasingly I understand that no matter how many times your brain might try to convince you that the past is the present your heart will keep count.

“another beat gone”

“another beat gone”

“another beat gone”



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