Do not feed the animals

Mood: Desert wanderers are said to find water by trapping a monkey and feeding it a block of salt. Once hungry, the monkey would point the wanderers towards water. Of course then, to give the monkey a drink would be counter productive to their cause, no matter how much compassion one felt for the monkey’s predicament.


For the next trick, you are invited to pay close attention. Watch the wind as it shifts and the sun as it sets. Remember the season and the affections that they bring. Pay attention to the trees, the birds and the fruit they eat.

Over the next few seasons I would like you to take note of every single breath you take. Weigh its contents; check the nitrogen level against the demons you expelled. Filter through the traces of nicotine and carbon dioxide until you find its root cause.

Then go deeper.

Quantify every quark you see against abstract concepts like gender and race. Split the atoms until they reveal hope and fear, intertwined in a web of consciousness undispersed.

For the next trick I would like you to find nothing.

Fill a Fanta bottle with darkness and bring it to the largest dinner party of all time. Knock three times and wait for the gatekeeper to ask for the answer to his riddle (I sent the riddle and the answer in previous correspondence for security reasons. If you have been keeping up with our correspondence you should know the answer by now. If not then how will you even know how to go about the task that I now describe to you?)

Once inside call for the attention of all the guests and place the bottle under the brightest light in the room.

Open it up and watch as the darkness is expelled. Repeat until you fill the room with darkness.

Return with a report on the proceedings.

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