How to Not

“I urge Kenyans to be vigilant and report suspicious characters in their midst to security agencies.”

–          Moses Wetangula, Senator

There is a lot happening.

There is always a lot happening. Somehow, though, this seems to be more pressing, more urgent, more intense and just more in general. There is talk of war. The words “we are at war!” are used to silence the few who speak out. The blasts closer to home confirm this.

Over 200 girls are still missing in Nigeria.

War Calvin and hobbesOn twitter Kenyans laugh at the idea of City Hall fm, cracking jokes about the day the Gorvernor slapped the women’s representative. This is funny, gender based violence is funny.

#BringBackOurGirls is now a global trend. We are getting frustrated. We are getting angry at ourselves – at each other. The protests have brought much to light about Nigeria. The protestors are arrested.

Over 200 girls are still missing in Nigeria.

Still the profiling of ethnic Somalis in Kenya continues. The military has passed the baton to the citizens who alight matatus when Somalis are in them. Terror is a fear based mechanism. Few realise that fear is exactly what is needed to tear a people apart. Fewer still realise the irony in tweeting #BringBackOurGirls seconds after making a joke about Kidero slapping Shebesh.

I am tired

and it continues not to end


I ask Gukira about suspicious people, the blog replies:

“What might it mean to understand oneself as a “non-suspicious person”? What technologies of visibility and surveillance are pressed into service to inhabit this position as one above suspicion? What ways of looking and acting and being assure one that one is non-suspicious?”

Amidst all this I try to find space to breath but I am drowned by a sea of fuckery. How does one pause to take care of themselves when a lot is happening? How do we go about self care in a non suspicious way? How does less happen?

How do we watch ourselves shrink and say nothing?

I meditate.

A friend writes a continent wide call to action for #BringBackOurGirls.

I meditate.

A lot is happening – we, too, will survive.

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