Am Serias, this Is Getting Out Of Control

It is more often than it should be in a highly literate society that I am forced to defend myself, and my love for proper grammar and spelling. Now don’t get me wrong, I understand that once in a while that you will think faster than you can make your thoughts known; or that you may have a slip of the finger. The odd teh and tghey every once in a while can be excused. No, it is not this that I am condemned for speaking against (although to be honest, if you make the mistake I will not hesitate to point it out). It is for pointing out crimes far more serious than this that I have been called upon to speak.

So instead of telling every single class 2 drop out who writes xaxa and undastnd the same speech when they ask me why I am such a stickler for language; I feel it more effective to just write it here. So that every time someone asks me why I am so anal about language I will simply send then a link. I see this as an investment. First and foremost I will increase traffic to my newly formed, and scarcely read, website. Second I will save myself the breath of having to launch into a rant and rave every time someone tells me they’re in a place known as skul. Third I will be enlightening the lives of some poor lost soul and fourth your face is fat.

In case you didn’t notice what I did in item four of my list I used the word “your” in its proper use. In the sentence prior to this one I used “its” properly. I could continue to point out common misuse that I have avoided in the last 300 words, so I will. I used “I am” in full, as opposed to the more common lonely “am.” I used “they’re” as opposed to “their” or “there” I wrote all the vowels in my words, and guess what? I have not died.

I really don’t see the need to rationalise why we should all spell properly, but seeing as all else has failed; let’s try logic.

First, if you spell properly your diction will be right. Studies (that is listening to my friends, acquaintances and enemies) show that the people who constantly write “am” as opposed to “I’m” will end up not pronouncing the “I” as they speak, which makes them sound like retards, or even worse, like politicians. The same applies to people who can’t tell the difference between “your and “you’re.” They too will end up pronouncing everything like you’re or like yuoubdakh.

Second, you come across as someone who uses their mind for more than searching for Paris Hilton photos, listening to Justin Beiber or both. Now, let us get this straight. Not everyone who spells properly is intelligent – as many of you will argue I have conclusively proven. However, people will see you as a person who is capable of intelligent thinking and since seeing is believing they will believe it too. Once they have believed it, it really won’t matter if you are intelligent or not.
I also don’t understand the argument of “I can do it, I just don’t bother to.” I really worry about the people who make this effort. How lazy do you have to be not to have the time to put one or two necessary letters in whatever you are writing? Furthermore if you are training your brain to write “shud” when it should be writing “should” what makes you think it will write should when you actually need to spell properly?

I truly believe though that the saddest of the lot are those who write like that then call themselves writers. Ever since the cavemen grunted out the first syllable of language the scribes have been the keepers of the key to this paradise. It is writers who have created words all the way from Nabokov’s “upsilamba” to *insert whoever wrote the music for Destiny’s child here*’s “bootylicious.” Given, the latter was not exactly an improvement on language but the fact remains that some writer wrote it. Common use has been quoted as necessary for language development but even that stems from somewhere and I really fail to see a society where “am” will become a correct short for “I am” due to common use.

Many people will now go through this thing looking for spelling mistakes to prove that I am no saint. Others will vehemently insult me; others still will dismiss me for being stuck up for writing it. Odds are, my fellow vigilantes in the war against bad grammar will save the link to help them save their breath for something worth their time. I have a gut feeling though that a strong 90% will go back to googling Justin Beiber, and that’s okay; because the little girl needs some love as well.