Invalesco

Trying to let go of my past,

but my past won’t let go of me.

Trying to break free of who I was,

but who I was is turning into who I will be.

 

Damned if I do,

destroyed if I don’t.

Trying to find the will,

but it seems that I won’t

 

The problem with getting stronger is you must first start with a careful assessment of where you are. An accurate picture of the mess you dug, feverishly and with intent, trying to tunnel your way to the light.

But the earth’s core sits at a hot 6000 degrees, and you freezing heart was designed for the polar regions. You thought you could keep it cold by transmutation of the heat energy. So you stayed intent on keeping your soul pure, for it would be impossible to bend the energy of another in the absence of purity.

The problem is, blinded by your quest, you refused to rest. And the longer you dug the more the lactic acid built up in your muscles. Ignoring the pull you continued towards the heat, you continued with the transmutation. One could argue that, given the delicate nature of your labour, it makes sense that you forgot to rest. However, due to the delicate nature of your labour, wasn’t rest even more important?

Eventually the lactic acid seeped into your bloodstream –it was destined to happen. When the first bit of acid made its way to your heart your defenses went up. But, without rest, even they soon lost the battle. Eventually your heart grew weary of your minds madness and gave in, letting the rot seep into your soul.

By this time though, you were hell bent on making it to the core. And, as your heart began to melt, you grew more aware of the heat around you, and the bone tired weariness in your body. You knew that you had to move forward, but first you knew that you had to get stronger – to withstand the heat.

Accurately aware of the vastness of the labour that lay ahead, you breathe, lie down and rest.

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