If your walls could talk they’d tell you it’s too late
- Kendrick Lamar
There was a time when you knew.
When your drowning held itself with grace.
Grace; that rampant, violent riot that calls itself a form of love. You can only be calm when the outside is drowning if the inside is in the same state.
Balance was never meant to be peaceful.
Now it is time
to create my own path
but the bush
refuses to yield
to my panga.
- Something Quite Unlike Myself
But all you were doing was creating and occupying space. You spent so much time throwing your energy at beating out a path that you never looked back to the overgrowth slowly creeping back into place. Now you try to look back to the time you knew and find yourself toe to toe with all the questions you thought you had answered.
What were the answers?
The cheat sheet that you had in your pocket has long been drenched in sweat, large chunks of material erased by time and malice. All you have left is a few words, letters, written in the braille of memory. You try to read but your fingers are weary from all the manual labour – and the symbols are strange.
Inside, you continue your graceless fall. Outside you sit still. Occasionally stopping to listen to the sound of the mosquitoes.
It is here that she found you – waiting.
She came from a different direction altogether.
You never expected it.
The wind just took the words out of your mind and blew them in her direction. Now she wills you to get up. To, once again, find the answers. You look to the walls for a response but all you see is the bush.
You reach for your panga.
The work has only begun.