My world is grey. In my world there is no colour. Not that everything is black and white; it is just that everything is a dull shade of grey. The sun shines every once in a while, and then I am happy. However, these moments are few and far between and I do hold them close. I watch people from the safety of my room, see them as they go on with their happy lives and weep. Sometimes in the morning I can’t even get out of bed. It is as if someone has weighed an anvil on m chest and is pulling me down, lower and lower. I write this from the solace of my ward. Apparently I tried to kill myself. I just downed more meds than usual because I was feeling lower than Usual. The nurse says it will be okay, and on some sick twisted level, I really want to believe her.
I really have to cultivate a habit of finishing my stories. I wrote that as the opening paragraph for a story called “Joy.” Well is takes a great deal for a man to be happy. Recently I have had friends of mine (yes, plural) diagnosed with clinical depression. You meet these guys on a normal day and you think, it really can’t be that bad. Then you meet them on one of their down days and you feel utterly helpless. It is as if they have nothing to live for. Apparently (or at least according to this guy here) 20% of people in the world suffer from clinical depression. This is 10 times more than suffered from the same disease in 1945.
Maybe it is just me who is too quick to blame the modern world for our plight. The rat race that is leaving everyone dog- tired. So much so that they can’t speak to their children, they can’t talk to their spouses. People tell more to their tweeter followers (facebook friends)
than they do to their “tangible” friends and family. Spending hours and hours of online intimacy when one can go days without a simple hug. A simple touch from a loved one and no I don’t mean random meaningless sex you had because you were on the rave and drunk. I am talking about a nice friendly hug. A nice warm touch, a touch that goes straight to the heart. (and it isn’t just me who thinks that check out these guys). I guess the point I am trying to get across today is, your world doesn’t have to be grey. It doesn’t have to be devoid of all feeling and humanity. Hug someone today. That is it for this Sunday. No punchlines, no powerful words, just a powerful touch. Go ahead, do it, feel the love.